Being honest with the emotions is really a good thing because this honesty lets us notice the emotions as they come up. It’s the way we can move towards emotional perfection.
When it comes to parenting, the emotions for our children are usually of extreme nature. It’s true that children can drive us mad, but stuffing the emotions isn’t the right way to deal with the matter. However, it doesn’t really mean that you should start breathing a firestorm in the name being emotionally honest. The bad thing that can come as a consequence of this rage dumping is that the children will learn to follow this way, and then there will be tantrums. So, relating this anger to the child can be disastrous even if they are the very reason of this rage in you. Here, you may think that not relating this anger to the kids would make you dishonest. It’s not the case. You need to mindful about the consequences of relating anger to the children unless it is absolutely necessary.
Showing anger is not the way of being emotionally honest
Many of us think that not displaying your anger would render you as ‘unauthentic’. This is far from truth. Showing your anger to anyone is going to create a situation which suggests about an emergency. Moreover, this behavior would make you think of the other person as an enemy if he/she fails to comply. Hence, if you are trying to guide your kid with anger in you, it’s almost an impossible thing you are trying to accomplish.
Try to be honest about the reason for your anger
The right way of being honest, while being angry, is to think about the reason why you are angry instead of letting the anger drive your actions. It’s basically the powerlessness which develops a feeling of anger, and acting under this emotion can make things seriously go wrong. So, instead of acting under these emotions, we should be ready to receive the message those emotions are sending to us. The best way is to take some deep breaths and let the anger go away.
Is the need to act under the anger absolutely necessary?
We feel the need to act under our anger because we feel the urgency to teach a lesson to our kid. Lessons should be taught with clarity of mind, and the clarity of mind can be achieved only if you are in all of your senses. It isn’t really possible when you are angry. The lesson that you can teach to your kid with a cool mind cannot be taught when half of your brain is turned off due to anger.
Are you being dishonest when you let the anger go away?
No. The reason you were angry is that you had a fear or urgency to get something done. The anger was there to convey the message about the importance or urgency of that particular thing. So, when you let the anger to go away, you are in all of your senses to think about the matter and its solution rather than being anxious only.
Denis Gainey 